Some days I really want a "Do over"

Yesterday was one of those days. The worst part of it was that only one part of yesterday even came as any surprise.

I've got a friend with some serious problems regarding passports, visas, and the like, which wasn't news yesterday because I already knew this was a problem, but the additional news that the sought-after solution was not forthcoming upset me because the problem was caused by someone lying to her. Everyone who currently follows my blog knows the story as well, or better, than I do, so enough said on that score. I'm sure we're all already praying as hard as we can.

I struck out with three different companies trying to secure a donation for a Siberian orphanage full of desperately needy kids (makes orphanages in the US look pretty luxurious) because I can't afford the cost of both the goods and the shipping myself (astronomical shipping costs, even for packages that don't contain dozens of pairs of shoes or coats). The reason? I'm not a non-profit organization, nor do I represent one, so they won't even consider the request. Again, this was not a surprise and I was expecting it, but I had screwed up my courage enough to try anyway because the need is so great and got the door shut in my face. I ended up feeling like no one cares (I know this isn't true, even at these companies) and that my efforts were pointless. That last part can probably be chalked up to the depression I still struggle with every day.

Associated with the last item is the fact that, while I could start a non-profit company here in AZ (and AZ is actually a good place to do so because it's a relatively cheap), it takes time, money, and a whole pile of legal paperwork that I feel completely inadequate to tackle on my own. Kind of depressing, because it really limits what I can do to help.

Lastly, I live on a dead-end road. I live on the corner at the entrance to the street. The house on the other end (same side of the street, but at the cul-de-sac) was broken into yesterday for the third time. The first time the burglars got away with the homeowners' property, the second time the wife was home and chased them off with a kitchen knife. Yesterday, however, two men broke down the front door, at which time they were confronted by the homeowner who shot and killed one of them (the other one got away, and as far as I know is still on the loose). Thankfully the homeowner will not face charges according to the police, which is no surprise given AZ law about both self-defense and firearms but could have been very different in another state. This isn't the only house on our street that has been broken into. The house across the street had a couple punks break down the front door while the owners were out of town. The neighbor heard the racket and called the police, and the police found them stashing the stuff at one the house of one of their grandmothers. They now have a security door and alarm system. We've been lucky - we've never had someone attempt to break into our house. It's not because they're watching to see if anyone is home either, because if that's the case the house at the other end of the street wouldn't have been broken into twice while someone was home. There have been other attempts at other houses as well. Richard and I will be looking into security gates and window bars, but we've talked about it and decided that it might also be a good idea for me to follow the advice a police officer gave me about 6 months ago. In a nutshell, he told me that if I were his wife he'd insist I carry a personal firearm. His reasoning was our proximity to an Indian reservation with a history of violence, which I'm not sure has anything to do with the break-ins in my community, but if someone tried to break down my front door with Galen and I in the house my only option for self-defense is a handgun I've never fired that Richard refers to as "not really reliable." I can't say I like the idea much, but if my other option is being unable to defend myself and my son if someone breaks into my house, I choose to carry a weapon.

I'm still not sure how any of this will play out, but I feel better about a lot of it now that I've put it in writing. I'm hoping the good things about this neighborhood will reassert themselves once the job-market improves. As for the rest, prayer and more prayer, and maybe the answers will make themselves known.